I’m So Damn Sick Of … Week 6

I get sick of a lot of things, sometimes celebrities, sometimes politics, and mostly real life people.  I don’t know how bad people wake up in the morning, look themselves in the mirror, and have to acknowledge, and then hide the fact that they are morons, idiots, corrupt, murderers, etc.  I couldn’t do it.  When I look in the mirror, I see a good person who looks exhausted who tries to make some good in the world.  But this week, I’m soooo sick of these people.

Paroled Sex Offenders – Anyone hear about the 11 year old girl (Jaycee Lee Dugard) who was kidnapped in 1991?  She was held prisoner for 18 years in a backyard by a convicted sex offenderwho also was kind enough to father two kids with her.  He also forced her to be his slave.  The best part?  His wife helped kidnap and keep this poor girl/woman.  Phillip Garrido, the scum of the earth who did this to her, had been previously sentenced to 50 years in prison, only served 11 years in a federal prison for his kidnapping conviction.  This poor girl, her family, her children she had with this rapist.  You know who cracked this case?  A damn parole officer.  You know who put him on the streets back in 1988 after only serving 11 out of 50 years?  A parole board.  People, sex offenders are unable to rehabilitate.  Stop paroling them so damn early, my heart breaks for this damn family tonight.

Kate Gosselin – First, when is she not on my darn I’m so damn sick of this week list, right?  But this week the news broke that Kate is going to co-host The Viewfor two days during what’s her face’s maternity leave.  Um, great.  Kate got her wish, and America gets to suffer with more Kate Gosselin coverage.  So glad that these kids are being raised by teen babysitters that Jon gets to bang occasionally rather than by their parents who just wanted to provide a better life for themselves, I mean the kids.  Such the perfect American family now.  By the way, the arms have been photo shopped skinnier in this picture.  Trust me, I’m an expert in that field. 

Sandra Bullock’s blonde and not-at-all-hot choppy hairstyle in the film All About Steve – And, guilty by association, Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock herself.

Jay Leno – Sorry, you need to get off the air.  Go gracefully like Mr. Carson.  Don’t force us to watch another must see talk show.  Plus, I can’t take looking at that chin one more night. 

Jeremy Piven- You second rate fiddle.  You dirty little piece of trash.  You whore.  You make it big, then fake a fight with your best bud, John Cusack, the dude who put you in all his movies, and then go all diva on us just because you get a good gig on HBO.  You ain’t no Tony Soprano.  Would you see Tony whining about Mercury poisoning to the press?  Mmm, hhmmm, I think not. 

Ted Kennedy - Sure, you supported The Arthritis Bill.  And now you are dead.  But you also left a young woman (Mary Jo Kopechne) to die in your car, leaving her alive for two hours before she drowned in six feet of water rather than calling the cops.  You also caused your wife to miscarry a third time.  You are even worse than Jeremy Piven and Kate Gosselin combined.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chappaquiddick_incident

Honorable mention this week

Anything to do with Michael Jackson, Chelsea Handler’s overly blushed cheeks, Swine Flu, and The Economy.

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

I keep asking myself, What Would Tyler Durden Do?

I swear to god, I’m a nice, normal person.  I work hard, pay my taxes, volunteer, and even have purpose in life.  I’m motivated by morals, not greed or hate.  I may have been raised ghetto, but I have the morals and ideals of upper middle class America, and if you saw me in the streets, you’d never know where I came from, as I have a nice and normal life.  But sometimes, like today, I fantasize that I’m Tyler Durden, famously played by Ed Norton and Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

I’m losing my job, allegedly because my boss decided that he can do whatever he wants, and it is just too bad if his decision is a form of health discrimination.  They are calling it budget cuts, but I am informed that was not exactly the case.  And after HR told him he couldn’t get rid of me before my scheduled hysterectomy since I am on the FMLA, my end date was extended for a few months.

It is pure torture going to work each day, and he continues to do little passive aggressive things just to get under my skin.  It makes my Fibromyalgia flare like crazy, and I can’t sleep, can’t eat, and feel sick, stressed and just awful every minute I spend at the office.  I’m not thrilled about it any of this, as I just want to move on, but my gut is telling me to file a lawsuit.  Because I was a good employee, a hard worker, and according to my other boss, probably the smartest person there.  This not only makes me sick to my stomach, but it makes me angry and feel victimized, which is the worst feeling I have ever experienced.  He makes me crave my own little Project Mayhem.  Not the piss-in-the-soup type of mayhem like the movie, but more of the don’t force me to tell your biggest secret to the media and let the big guns in Lansing know what type of crap you’re pulling around here type of mayhem.

Even just writing WWTDD cracks me up.   I’m at a crossroads here.  I want to move past this, forget them and my perceived victimization, and concentrate on my health and my job search, and maybe finally writing a book like I’ve been trying to do for years now.  It is not good for my health to hang on to this.  I want (and deserve) employment, and after uploading my resume to Michigan Works, and seeing 1.2 other million resumes there, I know I’m s.o.l.  I have given myself a date to make my decision by, and its coming up.  I often compare my work to the City of Detroit and the Kwame Kilpatrick scandal, minus the alleged murder and affairs.  So, I ask myself, after losing good wages, great benefits, health, and tuition, and a round a $1 million dollar retirement fund, what would Tyler Durden do?  Because Tyler Durden just wouldn’t let this man get away with it, would he?

If you are not familiar with the film and book (First, shame on you, both are bloody brilliant!) please let me show you what Fight Club, and in turn, Tyler Durden are all about.

First, watch this, and then read a few quotes about the film from the writer and its stars.

We are a nation of physical animals who have forgotten how much we enjoy being that. We are cushioned by this kind of make-believe, unreal world, and we have no idea what we can survive because we are never challenged or tested” – Chuck Palahniuk.

“It offers people the idea that they can create their own lives outside the existing blueprint for happiness offered by society” – Chuck Palahniuk.

“Fight Club is a metaphor for the need to push through the walls we put around ourselves and just go for it, so for the first time we can experience the pain” – Brad Pitt.

“And this was the first thing I’d read where I just laughed all the way through it. I laughed because there were passages in it that were just instantaneously impressed in my brain. The idea of a generation that’s had its value system largely informed by the advertising culture is really provocative to me. On a certain level, in the absence of collective spirituality, there is a notion that the external signifiers of your material life will make you happy. That you’ll find spiritual peace through home furnishing. And it just made me laugh, it made me laugh because I was in the process of furnishing my house. And it was making me feel calm, for a while. And I felt like so much of what peeves me about the culture that I can’t necessarily put a finger on, was named in this book. It was very focused on this idea of men and their sense of being displaced, their role in the culture being displaced. Of absentee fathers and the effect of that. There’s stuff about it that are classically Nietzschean almost. I thought this is a piece about the challenge of individual self overcoming.” – Ed Norton.

Would Tyler let a man do this to him (if he was a chick that is) and get away with it?  I think not.  I think Tyler would go balls to the wall.  I don’t think Tyler would go the lawsuit route, either, as he knows the courts are just as corrupt as the rest of corporate America.  Tyler would think outside the box.  Tyler would spend a dime, just focus his energies in the right places.  Make some soap, and clean up the world.  What do you guys think Tyler Durden would do?

Here are some Fight Club quotes just to make you chuckle or feel inspired:

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.

With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away, everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.

How much can you know about yourself, you’ve never been in a fight?

Now, a question of etiquette – as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? You’re not your job.

You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

We are consumers. We’re the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.

And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.

If I didn’t say anything, people always assumed the worst.

When the fight was over, nothing was solved, but nothing mattered. We all felt saved.

By the way, if you are bored, check out this site, and find a group near you to have a litte mischief and mayhem.  Not my type of thing, but it sounds pretty funny, and the author of Fight Club is allegedly a member.

http://cacophony.org/

Elvis Presley The Ed Sullivan Shows: The Performances

I am near orgasmic after receiving and watching my new Elvis dvd.  I grew up adoring Elvis Presley, as every young girl should, since he was the King of Rock and Roll and as dreamy as rock stars can get.  I don’t think that I considered any other musician more famous than Elvis than The Beatles when I was a kid.  I mean, who else had that many hit records and was also a movie star?  I’m happy to tell you that FINALLY you can buy the Elvis Presley: The Ed Sullivan Shows: The Performances on dvd. 

Elvis famously appeared three times on the Ed Sullivan show:

9/9/56 - Our first look at Elvis grinding his hips and thrusting sex into 60 million viewers homes.  Ed Sullivan famously didn’t want him on his show, and yet signed Elvis to perform on it just two weeks later.  I’m guessing this was just a tad worse than when Britney Spears did her little video Hit Me Baby One More Time. 

10/28/56 - Performances of his famous hits Don’t Be Cruel, Love Me Tender and Hound Dog.  Hound Dog has always been a huge favorite of mine.  I even used to karaoke it at home on my old karaoke machine.  Man, could Elvis sing.

1/6/57 – After twice getting burned, producers decided to film Elvis’s last Sullivan performance from the waste up.  I love it when he is singing Don’t Be Cruel and he’s snarling his lips and raising his arms trying to give some wildness to the performance.  Oh my, can you image a scandle like that happening today?  I’d love to see Janet Jackson on tv with black bars permanently over her nipples, lol.  

Just look at how handsome he was.  Breaks your heart, right?  I can remember that I was swimming at my friend A’s house when I heard the news that he died.  

The dvd has plenty of special features, including  a very touching home movie of Elvis, Lisa and Priscilla.

To buy your own copy of this dvd, click here.

To SquarePants or not to SquarePants

Who doesn’t love a good SpongeBob dvd?  I know I do.

I just got the latest SpongeBob dvd in the mail and couldn’t be happier with it!  It’s titled To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants, and its title refers to SpongeBob becoming SpongeBob RoundPants when his usual pants are out of stock and he is forced to purchase round pants instead.  My family and I watched the dvd this weekend to review for my blog.  Mind you, we are in our (almost) tweens, teens, thirties and forties, and we all loved it.  The kids obviously grew up with SpongeBob, but I discovered him during his first season on tv at my friend B’s house.  I lovethe show, it’s goofy and silly and of course, aquatic.  SpongeBob is an innocent soul who just loves to have fun and annoys his neighbor/co-worker tremendously while doing it.

I think the episode that got the most laughs in our house was The Slumber Party.  Mr. Krabs is staying the night at SpongeBob’s house because Pearl, Mr. Krab’s daughter, has kicked him out of his own house during her slumber party.  Mr. Krabs of course sends SpongeBob to crash the party, and he does so over and over dressed in many disguises.  We just giggled and giggled when he appeared as a girl and said My name is Girly Teen Girl.  You had to hear the voice he used to appreciate the line.   

The Splinterdealt with SpongeBob getting a major injuryat work, and having to hide it from Mr. Krabs so he wouldn’t get sent home for the day.  Patrick makes a memorable appearance in this episode, but Mr. Krabs steals the episode when he is going around sniffing the Krusty Krab as he knows something is amiss.  He smells two quarters right into his nostrils, pulling them from the wallet of a customer’s butt and says that These quarters smell sad.  You’re not planning on getting a refill with them, are you?

Slide Whistle Stoogeswas really funny.  Basically, Patrick and SpongeBob play a prank on Squidward by hiding in his house and blowing their whistles whenever he moves, showers, touches, etc.  Somehow they teach him that Slide Whistling is a way of life, and he becomes hooked himself, and all of them cause mayhem in the town when they slide whistle and annoy all of the other towns peoplefish.  When Squidward went over the cliff in that gasoline truck while playing a long down note on his slide whistle, it was just perfect, pure comedic genius.

For all the latest news on SpongeBob, visit the official webpage here:

Or, to buy your own copy of the new dvd click here:

Totally Random Things on My Mind

I’m not in the best mood, or a creative mood, but I’ve got a bit of inspiration that I want to throw into a blog post.  I’ve missed blogging, and wanted to throw up a quick post today.  I’ve been busy with my physical therapy (For my evil back with the seven disks that are jacked up) and going back to work to a job that I’m losing in six weeks, and most of my free time is spent these days on job searches and hating the discrimination I’ve faced at work.  In my absence off and on this summer in part due to my hysterectomy, it seems that many of my blog friends have takena break from blogging, too, or they don’t have time to visit me as often as they once did.  I totally understand this, as I’ve had to cut my blog writing and reading time way down.  Still, I miss everyone and I hope this random post can bring some of us back together and talking again.

I’m reading a fantastic book right now, the latest from Pat Conroy called South of Broad.  I love him, he is my all time favorite southern writer, and I encourage you to read all his books.  I HATE basketball and his book My Losing Season was all about basketball and his final season of playing at The Citadel, and I adored it, so he is just that good of a writer to make me read a book filled with a topic I HATE.  http://www.patconroy.com  I had to put South of Broad down today because I can’t stop being so EMO (if you will, lol) from it.  With ever word I read from this man, I can sense the pain and struggle he’s had to deal with his life.  After seeing Prince of Tides, I wanted to go to South Carolina to see what this magical place was all about.  I saw Pat Conroy twice on my first visit, once at the S. Carolina visitors center, at an empty table signing books.  I was curious, had no idea it was him, and wanted to approach but my friend E and I were late and in a rush to get to our hotel in Myrtle Beach.  The next day I picked up Prince of Tides, say his picture, and died when I missed my chance of meeting him.  Then on our last day, we say him at the mall, signing books to a fantastically long line of people.  I wanted to go wait in that line and meet him but we were leaving, so I missed my chance, again.   I remember sitting in the Atlantic, just absorbed in his novel, with the sun setting and my arms and that book being the only things not drenched in salt water.  I have a story on that whole trip, but for now that’s all I’ll be saying.  Pat Conroy, in a sense saved me.  And I thank him here today…

Thursday night I stopped in the coolest store called Catching Fireflies and saw a Smurfette Lunchbox.  Its a reproduction of the original one I had desperately wanted in my tween years of middle school, and I can’t stop thinking about it.  $13.95 and I feel a person who is getting laid off can’t splurge on it.  But I want it.  I want it bad.  I was in the store only to buy a concert ticket book that will organize all of my old stubs, and they just called me to say the book is in.  Should I get my lunch box?  Those of you who know me will remember that I bought my first bumper sticker months before I bought my first car (At age 25) and it was of Smurfette.  You can check out how cute it is here.   http://www.catchingfireflies.com/products/smurfette-lunch-box.html

I keep meaning to write a blog on The DIA, formerly known as The Detroit Insitute of Arts.  http://dia.org/  I love art, and have been all over the world visiting galleries and art collections.  I don’t think anything will ever top the Sistine Chapel for me, or even finally getting to Louve on my second trip to Paris, despite having to visit with Pneumonia, but my own personal art museum getting a a  huge face lift was a major thing for me.  So, let me share a few pics from the opening, which I attended with my friend B and his kids, as I fear I may never write a full post about it.   

 

I went on a huge walk last night, and I haven’t been able to walk that far at once in a long time.  I think it was because I was so pissed off.  I walked for about 90 minutes, and I haven’t been able to walk more than thirty minutes for over a year.  On my walk I saw a mother deer and her young twins and it was pretty cool.  When I was a kid you never saw deer unless you were in the country, and now that I live much more north than 8 Mile I see them all the time.  The entire walk I was thinking, a lot of things are hard for me in my life right now, and I’m tired of it.  While I know things are hard for probably everyone else in the world right now, when I’m walking, that is my time when I reflect on my own life.  I’m trying to do the best I can, and have always tried to for pretty much my entire life.  We all know life isn’t fair, but when I came into the world, fate certainly picked me to have a whole lot of shit to deal with.  I can remember being thirteen or fourteen and thinking I have this life because I am strong enough to deal with it.  I’m furious that I’m a good person and a hard worker and yet I’m being discriminated against.  I’m torn between saying screw it and dropping the whole matter, and standing up for myself and fighting.  I don’t know what to do about it.  I’m mad about all my health stuff, and for being in constant pain and not even taking drugs to help fight it, as I’m terrified to turn into a drug addict.  I’m mad that my life hasn’t worked out at all the way I hoped it had, and that I have to look for work and figure out what to do about my education, as my degree will now be useless in Michigan’s job market.  At least three of the five places that I put in to volunteer have gotten back to me, so that I don’t have to sit on idle hands once I lose my job this September.  Last night I thought that those deer were in my path to symbolize somthing, so for the first time of my life, instead of freezing and waiting for a deer to make the first move, I walked right up to all three of them.  The mother was shocked, and somehow let me get really really close to her young.  Then she took off, and they just hopped a few feet and let me get even closer, about five feet away.  Was it a sign?  Tell me what you guys think.

Lastly, I want to end on a more postive note.  I’ve lost 31 pounds since the end of May and I AM THRILLED.  I asked my stepson today did it look like I lost weight or gained it, and he said lost it, and guessed 30 pounds, which was pretty astute for him, beign ten and all.  It it really hard for me not to stress eat right now, as I adore and idolize food and I’m stressed out to the max right now.  Please share with me my happiness.  Part of my weight loss is motivated out of spite, which is a very powerful weapon.  Last May my nutty co-worker (Yes, the one who acts jealous of my medical issues) was mad that I was getting a hysterectomy and she told me that I’d gain 30-40 pounds afterwards.  This is the one who protended to forget my surgery date so she wouldn’t be forced to say good luck to me.  I told some of the other ladies at work part of my success secret, and we had a good hard laugh in the bathroom.  These are my little buddies who come up to me almost daily to ask a health question just to screw with her.  I have six more weeks to lose more weight, and I pray that I lose another 20.  It’ll kill her.  Cheer me on people, cheer me on.  Here is my scary before and after pics.  I have never seen my face more puffier, and it scares me to even post this picture. 

Me in April, with the Durham Bull.  Ugh.  Thank god my swelling has went away and my thyroid medicine is finally working.

And here I am last weekend, on my way out.  Hubby tried to take some good body photos but it didn’t work out.  So this is a self portrait that slightly makes me look evil.