Pandora Radio Station

Oh, man, I keep forgetting to share the coolest website with all of you:

www.pandora.com

This is the greatest online radio station I’ve ever found, and believe me, I’ve been looking for one for awhile now.  For those of you who have a desk job, I’ve found a very cool way to listen to music while at work.  I get sick of lugging cds or my ipod and speakers back and forth to work, and this website is a great solution when I need to drown out background chatter or I just need a little pep in my step.  I adore it, and every person I’ve recommended it to loves it, too.  You can make up all your own music stations, by picking an artist you like or even a song you like.  For instance, I have a station labeled “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and it plays all sorts of fun 80s songs.  It will pick other songs or artists at random who are similar to the artist/song on the station you created.  Even though I have a Rolling Stones station and a Who station, I get different songs on each station.  I’ve got all sorts of radio stations myself – everything from Aretha Franklin to Rush to The Beatles.  Pandora is so much fun, and unlike other online radio stations, for now at least, it has NO COMMERCIALS!

While technology is always changing, even in the ways in which we get our music, sometimes, I wish we were back to albums again.  I miss listening to albums and going to live concerts so much.  But at least I have a way to listen to music now that isn’t on the radio.

Anne Frank House

I’ve been meaning to write about Anne Frank House (Huis) forever. 

As you may already know, I have been a fan of Anne Franksince childhood.  It wasn’t only because of my fascination of all things Jewish, it was more born out of respect of her writing.  This poor girl was stashed in hiding for years, and was still able to blossom through her writing.  She had a great will to rise above her situation.  She was hopeful in the worst of times.  And she died in a concentration camp, just before the WWII ended.  What a story.  And it is still tragic to think that this fabulous writer only had one book published.  Just breaks my heart.  The first time I went to Europe (2005) we stayed in Amsterdam for about twenty four hours.  Those Contiki tours really push you.  Needless to say the night was full of debauchery, and the day was dedicated to cultural learning. 

Even though I am a huge Van Gogh fan, and a huge diamond fan, I skipped both tours so I could have plenty of time at Anne Frank House, or Huis, as they call it there.  It was hard to find, and had a small plate on the door.  I remember thinking what a nice tree, and suddenly remembering that “Oh, that was Anne’s tree, the only bit of nature she saw for years.“  Sadly, I just learned from (Sorry for bragging, but it was so cool to know one of my favorite authors/survivors appreciates Anne Frank like I do!) Augusten Burroughs that Amsterdam is cutting down that very tree that Anne loved.  Why would they do this?  He had a great idea how to preserve it, but just in case he’s planning on moving forward with presenting said idea to Amsterdam, I’m not going to steal his thunder here.  Let me just say here that it was brilliant.

You would never recognise the building it if you were just walking down the street, there is only a small subtle plaque that says Anne Frank Huis.  It is the white square in the picture above.  See what I mean?

You couldn’t photograph anything inside, which of course I respected.  (Found this picture on Photobucket, as well as the color one above.  The others are my own, of course.)  It was sad to see all of her little movie star pictures still hanging on the walls after all these years.  All I can remember feeling is the intense heat which was so hot I was having trouble breathing, and I was sobbing so hard that I was actually embarrassed.  I was loudly crying and people kept looking at me and giving me “I’m so sorry” eyes and the occasional “Calm down you emotional bitch” eyes.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that emotional in public, ever.  It was like … I don’t even know, the weirdest feeling ever.  It was like I could feel her fear when they were coming up those stairs.  Or something like that.  The hair on my arms is standing straight up right now, remembering the moment. 

The best part of that experience was the gift shop.  I picked up the latest edition of The Diary of a Young Girl by Ann Frank, and to my surprise, it was the original version of her diary.  The book I read as a child, and the movie I saw many years ago were based on Otto Frank’s edited version of the diary.  The REAL diary was much more racier and edgy.  I spent the next three days on my tour bus semi-crying and learning the real story of Anne.  I mean, it was intense.  I can’t BELIEVE how much better this version was.  You can order it for yourself if you are interested: 

http://www.annefrank.org/content.asp?PID=614&LID=2

Also, I’ve just been trolling the Anne Frank website and I’m happy to report that not only did they remodel, but they added air conditioning.  If you ever want to go to a fascinating museum, go here. 

http://www.annefrank.org/content.asp?pid=3&lid=2

And let me share a few cool facts on found on their website:

• Miep Gies, the lady who helped Anne and her family and friends turned 100 years old this past February. 
• The museum opened in 1960, and they had 9,000 visitors.  Last year they had 999,000 people through the doors.
• I found this post on their online guest book, where children of the world go to learn about her.  Also, before I post it, I just have to say how cool it is to be a child in the age of the internet.  Learning for kids now is so much more than what I had growing up.  Anyway, here it is:  On Last friday my teacher read out the story of Anne Frank-I was shocked.  I never knew how cruel and evil some people could be!! But on the other hand I was very interested-I wanted to find out more! When I did I was so gobsmacked!  I think Anne Frank must have been the kindest girl ever for saying all those nice things even though these people were killing so many other people!

It amazes me that to this day her writing has such an effect on children and adults all over the world.  Please, go visit the website, read the book, talk about the Holocaust with someone. 

And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren’t any other people living in the world – Anne Frank

A Little Bit of Everything – Michigan Needs Help!!!

Sometimes I need to talk about more than one thing, and I can’t find the time.  So, I’m going to write a bunch of stuff I need to share about my state, Michigan, which I dearly love, before I forget or it becomes old news.  I’ve got less than an hour, so let us move right on to it.

Every day I am freaking out about our state, and how we are even going to survive here.  Unemployment is through the roof, and it is effecting everyone, not just the auto industry.  Just this weekend I counted twelve empty businesses on the drive from my house to my mother-in-laws, which is just five miles away.  For instance, my friend who has worked for a hospital for over a decade has got her hours cut down to part time, and her benefits are now way more expensive.  This hospital also laid off or cut back hundreds of other people.  These next few days will bring about a lot of change, and pretty fast in our state.  Some people in the US honestly think that “oh, yeah, I want GM to go bankrupt, they had it too good, blew a lot of money away, etc.” and I’m hoping I can change your mind.    GM is most likely going to close down 14 plants and they are naming them on Monday.  More lost jobs, and less money for the state to work with.  I’ve never worked in the auto industry, but I’m being affected by it.  I work in civil service and last year we saw one lay off, and this summer we are going to loose a full time position, and even though I have been there for years, it is probably going to be me.  I’m mad as hell about it because I work hard at my job.  Plus, we are on a hiring freeze, and any person from now on won’t be replaced.  We have already lost a few positions.  Our benefits have gotten cut every year for the past three years, which I am OK with, but still.  We had a pay freeze for years, and I don’t even make much money to begin with.  (Factor in my $440 a month college loans and you can understand the fear.)  We can’t work overtime even though we need to at times and I have two or three times as much work to do now that we have lost five or so people from our office.  So, how is it fair that the auto industry has caused our state and local governments to malfunction?  It is not, and it is going to get worse unless something is done asap.

So many people have left the state that our government has to make huge cuts, all over the place.  People’s homes are foreclosing left and right.  I know someone who is the only person still living on her block!  And now her house has become infested with mice because all of these abandoned homes are filthy and these mice want a nice warm house to vacation in.  I’m waiting for that stimulus money Obama!  Because the people of Michigan need it FAST!  And, do all of you realize that one of the first places they cut is our prisons and jails?  People are leaving jail and prisons way too early because of over crowding and costs.  The news keeps reporting how robbery is going up, because people everywhere can’t find work.  My co-worker, whose husband is laid off, had to go to her father and ask him to buy groceries the last three months.  She lives very modestly, but her twenty hours of pay for a family of seven isn’t cutting it. 

Anyone hear about the Amber Alert on Memorial Day?  A poor little girl in Monroe was allegedly abducted (And possibly murdered) by her mothers registered sex offender male friend.  He was not allowed contact with children, as he is a known child molester.  Now, this man, George Kennedy, was sentenced in 2002 to fifteen years in prison for home invasion and third-degree criminal sexual conduct.  He was released on parole only five years later and is currently on parole.  I saw on the news last night how both his parole officer and the parole supervisor kept recommending that he go back to prison and that he had been in violation of his parole.  No room at the prison, apparently, because why was he not behind bars?  Now a five year old girl is believed to be dead.  I’m sick, because stuff like this will keep happening.  WTF?  Do people honestly believe us regular hardworking middle class citizens here in Michigan have to suffer for the crimes of past auto executives?  I hope not after reading this.  Pretty soon more and more services will be cut, crime will continue to go up, and more people will flee the state.  How can this state even afford unemployment for all of these people?  It is horrible and if you are not paying close enough attention, you should be.  Because it is affecting all of us in the long run.

Mike Cox, Michigan’s Attorney General announced yesterday that he is running for Governor on the Mike in the Morning Show, which in my mind was a smart move.  I’m a Democrat, but gosh darn it, I have to say that I am not thrilled with the state of the economy here in Michigan.  Plenty of business have already left the state, and I’m sure more will go within the next year.  I know our current governor has a huge mess on her hands, but I wish she could have done more for our state.  If we didn’t have the film industry, I don’t know what we would do.  I’m thinking of voting for him, even if he is Republican.  You can view his website here:

www.mikecox2010.com

Enough

Recently, a blog friend of mine closed down her comments on her blog, because she had enough.  Her blog had a purpose and it evolved into something else.  I’m not sure if she is closing shop for good, but I’ll miss her and the conversations I had there.  All of a sudden some of my other blog friends are shutting down their blogs or have just abandoned them, and I wonder if they are ok?  If you guys still read my blog, can you comment here or email me to let me know that you are ok?  I’m assuming that stress is taking a toll on everyone these days, because it is certainly kicking my ass.  It has got me thinking about the whole to blog or not to blog question that has been in the back of my mind since I started.

I want to keep my blog going.  But it is a lot of work and remember, I do it for free.  I get a bunch of email, and I answer everyone, because my god, they took the time to read what I’ve said and asked my advice or gave me theirs.  But my blog keeps me away from reading, and espeacially reading other people’s blogs.  I have no free time.  By the time I come up with something to write, finding pictures and either scanning them or downloading them, I’ve spent two or three hours on a blog post.  After taking the day off blogging today, Ive decided that I’m going to keep doing it, but with certain conditions.  When I began this blog in January 08, I thought I would use it to to help me begin writing after a long spell of writers block.  I write about many things, and a few posts that I have written have become huge thorns in my side.  People are acting completely crazy on those posts, and I can’t keep up, nor do I want to anymore.  I have ADHD, and I bounce all over the place, trying to keep up with all the comments, and the rest of my life.  I can’t keep up, and I’m tired of trying.  I spent two hours responding to comments last night.  So, I’ve closed down all commenting on quite a few posts that have gotten out of hand.  There is one more left, and I’m letting you all have one more day to comment all about them.  I work, I’ve got a family, a few illnesses and an upcoming surgery.  I want to write about other things, better things.  Plus I want to write my memoir.  I just can’t keep fighting people on here about stupid stuff.  I mean, I’ve had a person fake her deaths here, WTF?

I realize that it is an honor to get any visitors or comments here on my blog posts, and I want to thank all of you who visit me and comment regularly or from time to time.  I’d like to “meet” more of you who have never commented, or are new but shy.  I’m curious as to who reads this blog, and what you would like to talk about, or what you want me to talk about.  I love books, movies, music, travel, photography, tv, designer purses, clothes, nature, animals, hiking, jewelry, shoes, hairstyles, decorating, education, etc.  I’ll talk politics a bit, and of course celebrities, and just about anything else I can think of, except for my family in detail.  I keep them tucked safely away.

I am exhausted, because I started a new medication that has kept me awake and cleaning just like Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream.  Remember when Ellen was cleaning the house like a crazy person when she was on her uppers?  I cleaned for ten hours straight today.  I hauled shit up and down two flights of stairs all day.  You should see my closets.  And I have Fibromyalgia, which kicks my ass and never allows me to be this active.  I can’t stop moving or thinking.  You get the picture.  I am exhausted, and I can’t sleep.  My heart is pounding, my mouth is dry, and I haven’t felt this hyper since 2003.  When I say I’ve had enough, this means I really have had enough.  Please, I’m begging you, no more chatter or emails about them, ever.

Angels & Demons – Why I Like How Dan Brown Makes Me Think About Religion

Five and a half years ago I read both The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons.  I have never forgotten those books, nor the trip I took to Europe for the very first time in 2005.

It was amazing to see and experience the actual places that Dan Brown wrote about in both of his books.

Today I sat at the edge of my seat during this entire movie, gasping, and not because of the action; not because of the beauty of Roma, the real name of Rome; not because of Tom Hanks and his new and improved body or his characters much-needed haircut; or even because I was watching a movie with my favorite movie star boyfriend, Ewan McGregor.  Well, I did have a few moments where I felt a little pervy finding him so attractive in his Camerlengo look, but I was gasping mostly because I realized early on how damn good this movie was.  Seriously, go see this movie tomorrow if you are lucky enough to be off of work.

I don’t want to write about the movie, or give away any spoilers, even though the movie has been out for a week.  I realize not everyone reads books, and that the plot could be totally unknown to them.  All I am saying is that it takes place at the Vatican, a marvelous place where I saw the most impressive work of art ever in the entire world, the mighty Sistine Chapel, where you had to stand in silence, and not take pictures, and just breathe and take it all in.  I got ten minutes in there, and I don’t care what religion you are, you go get your ass there to see it.  Because I can’t even describe the feeling I had in there.  I have the chills just thinking about it now.

I’ll say this about Angels & Demons, it covers everything from murder to action to religious symbolism to science and religion.  It is a movie that makes you think, and a movie like this is rare in this day and age of reality TV shows and Saturday Night Live alumni movies.  It had so much drama I wanted my laptop in that theatre so that I could catch every moment, much like when I take twelve pages of notes during a LOST show so when I write about it later I can remember everything I felt while watching it.  Even if you are the strictest devout Catholic, I want to remind you that at least this movie is making people talk about religion rather than not.

Religion has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember.  I have been tormented my whole life, because I was born to a strict family of Sicilian Catholics, who used guilt and shame to groom me into the decent person I have become.  (For instance, my great-grandmother pinched me on the arm daily from twelve on, making me swear that I would never end up pregnant, like my mother.  And, I have never been pregnant, so Gramma, I have always kept my promise!)  On the other hand, my nineteen year old pregnant bipolar mother (Who was forced to hide at a home for unwed Catholic mothers) never let me be Catholic.  I was referred to as a bastard child from the beginning.  I am pissed to this day that I was baptised, and then never allowed to go to church.  Why was God mad at me?  I couldn’t help who I was born to, right?  How could I be going to purgatory, as my soul wasn’t saved?

All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives – Dalai Lama

Flash forward a few years, and I took my religion quest further.  I read the entire Old Testament by age nine.  It didn’t make sense to my very adult “stuck in the body of a child” mind.  How could people live so long, how could God be so vengeful then, why did he talk to people then, but not now?  How could Noah collect all those animals, how could Eve be created from a Adam, because we all know woman create men?  I felt (And please, these are my feelings, you don’t have to bash me for admitting my true feelings here) that all of that book was made up.  At age nine.  It scared the hell out of me.  Years before my bible binge, I discovered Judy Blume and an entire world about the Jewish religion, smack in the middle of excellent children’s books.  I was fascinated with Jewish kids, but we had no Jewish kids in my hood.  (Actually, we ended up having two, and both were my friends, although we never really talked about their religion.)  I read all Judy’s books, then all sorts of books that talked about Jewish children.  Then, I found Anne Frank, and she taught me all about the Holocaust.  Why did people do that to her?  My young mind couldn’t handle why 6,000,000 Jews had to die, just because someone hated their RELIGION.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness - Dalai Lama

By junior high I was attending four different churches a week, and trying to pick “the right” religion for me.  I got baptised at the church who ran “The Happy Bus.”  I got “saved” in my friend Ange’s kitchen, I tried to quiz her older brother about the bible, since he was going to be a missionary someday.  I could quote scripture, I could sing all of the books of the New Testament, but I never fully believed in any of it, and I WANTED to.  I really wanted to.  I remember sitting at Camp Hiawatha, looking at the sun set, hiding out from everyone, and just knowing this was not a good fit for me, and I couldn’t tell my BFF, because she might be mad at me.

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them – Dalai Lama
I gave up my quest to find the right religion for a while in high school when my life was at its worst.  I told myself how could God let these things happened to me,  I didn’t deserve this much pain in my life.  But sometime between high school and the end of my freshman year of college I realised I was never going to be able to pick just one religion and stick with it.  I took two philosophy classes and a religion class freshman year.  I went to all sorts of churches with anyone who was brave enough to take me.  I met Buddhist professors, my beloved Mr. and Dr. Ryeguild, who introduced me to Eastern religions.  I became fascinated with the Dalai Lama.  He was so positive, something I needed then, and defiantly need now.  I know I am negative, but you need to be exhausted AND in pain since 2003 without pain meds, feeling dizzy and faint, and having a million little and big things wrong with you, and only then you will be able to walk in my shoes and see how hard it is to be cheerful 24/7.

Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life – Dalai Lama

After beginning my quest again as an adult, I have studied art, which taught me more about religion than my religion teacher ever did.  I have read many books, I have asked many people questions about their faith, I have watched countless movies, and I still have no definite answer as to “What I am.”  I laugh when I think back to the Christianity debate I gave in my freshman ATL class, where people were screaming and my panel of experts and my professor all wanted me dead.  The mention of a book that said that the bible was written on a mushroom trip was a bit too much for them.  There is a book like this out there, in the MSU library, but it was my friend who mentioned it, not me.  I am not that bold.  I am lucky enough to have a friend who teaches science and who also believes in God.  I am always confused, but applaud an open mind to have belief in both.

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves – Dalai Lama

I believe that evolution is a fact, but I also believe in good and evil.  I believe in karma, and once in a while, even destiny.  I believe people should stop fighting wars because of religion.  But, since war has been going on since the beginning of time I believe it will not end until we destroy Earth, and I’m half convinced it will happen in my lifetime.  I believe more in the devil than I do in Jesus.  I don’t know why.  I guess it is because I have seen more evil in my lifetime than goodness.  I believe that when you die, there is no heaven or hell.  I am torn about reincarnation.  I believe in ghosts and spirits, especially since I lived in two houses with them.  I believe that woman may have had the power way back in ancient times, but men got jealous, and twisted religion so much that it has had to covered up a lot of things.  I believe Dan Brown’s books could be true.   I even believe that aliens may exist.  I am not sure if they have made their way here, although Area 51 fascinates me, especially since my former co-worker (In Vegas) was detained for fifteen hours there, and they held her without calling her parents and then destroyed her camera and notes.  (She was a high school journalist at the time.)  I believe that people should not kill each other, unless it is in self or another person’s defense.  I am torn about the death penalty.  I am torn on wars, because let us not forget World War II.  That was a war worth fighting.

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion – Dalai Lama
I don’t have the answers, and you probably can’t help me answer all of my questions, either.  I am all over the place, I know, I know.  My beliefs are not cut and dry.  All I know is this: I enjoy questioning everything, and appreciate that I am allowed TO DO SO here in America, and especially here on my blog.  Please, we all can’t think alike, there are many different religions in the world, and let us be respectful if we are going to debate anything I’ve written about here.