Totally Stressed Out

My eye doctor found Lattice Degereration this afternoon … and he told me I have a one is five chace of getting a detached retina.  Um, oh my god …

I read that this can be due to the Dysautonomia.  Which I have if you forgot or are new here.  Also read that Marfan Syndrome is common with both the Lattice Degereation and Dysautonomia.  Have most of the symptoms of Marfan Syndrome.  No clue what to think right now. 

My vision is now -6/-6.25.  Does anyone have any clue how blind I am?  I know 20/20 is normal.  I also have Blepharitis.  And they had to do some weird tests so they blinded me unexpectedly … sat in the parking lot for an hour afterward laying there, massivly sick and having to pee.  Drove 10 miles and I couldn’t see the entire time.  Felt like a criminal.  I felt like I was drunk driving with a migraine headache and wearing a pair of glass that were way under my prescription, like my glasses from 1985 or so.  Dear lord thank you for not letting me cause a car crash or getting pulled over.  (Side note, I read that six states automatically yank your license if you get diagnosed with Dysautonmia.) 

I have many thoughts on American Idol but this will wait until tomorrow.  (Loved Chris tonight!)  Tonight I am stressed that I am going blind.  Have already asked the hubby to make sure I get a Golder Retriever as my leader dog.  (I am not making fun of blind people, my father and both his parents were all blind at one point.  Just relating that even while I’m crazy and stressed I make inappropriate jokes.)

Plus my college BFF is making me crazy telling me to go on Disability and go to Mayo Clinic like my cardiologist told me to do a few weeks ago.  She’s a clinical psychologist/professor … so this REALLY freaks me out as she is not a bad advice person. 

Somebody make a joke so when I open this tomorrow I can laugh about it …  Perhaps some ROL or KON assholes can mock me here?

Help Save The Michigan Film Industry

I got a very interesting email this morning.  I am sickened by the act of one woman whose actions may hurt Michigans economy.  I have no idea why she is trying to ruin well laid plans … so I want all of you/some of you/even just one of you to read this post and email this woman or forward this post or link to this article. 

Help us folks in Michigan GET MORE WORK HERE!!!!

Sen. Nancy Cassis is advocating that the film incentives be scaled back. Mitch Albom wrote a great article outlining the negative impact that just one descender can do to this business in our state. Please take a minute to e-mail the senator. Imagine the impact we will have if the entire Real Style database write the senator. You can also e-mail the governor if you like.

Sen. Cassis e-mail
senncassis@senate.michigan.gov and 888-38-NANCY

Link to Gov. Granholm
http://www.michigan.gov/gov/0,1607,7-168-21995-65331–,00.html

And a copy of the original article writen by Mitch Albom, date unknown, that was included in my email.

Cap movie tax breaks? Might as well Kill’em

BY MITCH ALBOM
FREE PRESS COLUMNIST

If you can name one other Michigan business that grew from $2 million
to around $125 million last year — in the worst economy since the
Depression — I’ll shut up.

If you can name one other Michigan business that, in its baby stages,
elicited plans for $140 million in new studio investments, I’ll keep
quiet.

If you can name one other Michigan business that created this much
excitement and this many people scurrying to learn new skills, I’ll
stand down.

But if you can’t, then maybe you should be the one to cool your jets.

I’m talking about Michigan’s movie business.

And I’m talking to state Sen. Nancy Cassis.

Cassis was the only legislator in the Senate or the House to oppose
last year’s tax incentives that made Michigan the most attractive
state to do movies, TV shows or digital gaming. Since then, she seems
to be on a mission to prove she was right.

Cassis constantly criticizes the tax breaks, threatens to slash them,
even complains on radio that we are Motown, not Tinseltown.

This is her right. And it might be harmless diatribe if not for the
fact that Cassis chairs the Senate Finance Committee, which means she
can push legislation on such issues with more force than most.

Last week, she introduced a bill that would cap the total movie
credits at $50 million a year.

She might as well kill it altogether.

To get the jobs, we need the movies

Cassis, a Republican from Novi, not only wants the cap, she wants to
slash the incentive from 40%-42% to 35%, and require a minimum 90% of
all film crew personnel be from Michigan. She sweetens this by
increasing the tax break for infrastructure from 25% to 30%.

Now, I have no personal problem with Cassis. But when it comes to the
movie business, she does not know what she’s talking about.

If she did, she would realize that a $50-million cap effectively
chases films away. No successful tax-incentive state has a cap like
this, because no studio wants to be the last film in, then find out
the money is gone. They can’t plan that way. They just won’t come.

Besides, if we got three projects of, say, $70-million budgets –
major films, but hardly “Spider-Man” — that would use up all the
credits for the year. This makes Cassis’ infrastructure increase
laughable. Why on Earth would someone want to build a studio when you
can make only three films a year? That’s like limiting flying to three
airplanes, then inviting people to build a new airport.

And we can’t demand 90% Michigan crews because right now, we don’t
have that many qualified film workers. We’d like to. We’re training
people as fast as possible. But the best way to train is to get on a
film at a low level, and since we’ll chase films out with this
ridiculous demand, there goes your training opportunities.

Casting a wary eye to Michigan

Now, I know Cassis’ beef. She doesn’t like our tax money subsidizing
this business. Hey, we’d all prefer if we didn’t have to lure it this
way (although plenty of other states eagerly do so).

But look around. How many new industries are coming to Michigan on
their own? How many of our existing industries are shrinking? How many
of our young, creative minds leave the state, never to return?

The movie/TV business is growing. Remember that word? Growing? Young
people flock to it. And the digital gaming business — which we’ve
barely scratched — is twice the size of the movie business. This all
means future jobs, homes, increases in everything from hotels to
carpentry to music to transportation. We’ve already seen it working.

But we have to let it grow. We can’t plant a flower then stomp on it.
That is what Cassis is doing. Hollywood is a small town; only a few
dozen people make most of the financial decisions. Trust me, they’ve
all heard Cassis’ threats. They get scared. They see Michigan as
unstable. Can you blame them? We pass something last spring, and now
we want to slash it?

Because of this, Cassis — and her cosponsors — already have done
enormous damage, even if her bill fails, which it likely will as the
governor has promised a veto.

So maybe, out of respect to creative workers, businesses, schools and
the other 140-plus legislators who voted for these incentives, Cassis
can back off for a bit and watch the great things that come.

Maybe you want to tell her yourself. Her contact info:
senncassis@senate.michigan.gov and 888-38-NANCY.

Unless you’ve got another business that’s done what this one has so
far.

Contact MITCH ALBOM at 313-223-4581 or malbom@freepress.com

What Would Jane Do?

I’ve been laying around the house all weekend, watching movies and smelling like garlic.  (Seriously, I just made the best pasta dish with roasted red peppers, fresh garlic, feta and parmasan cheese and cilantro.)  Today is laundry day, which only comes but once every two weeks for me, because I hate it so much.  I hang dry everything I own so my clothes last forever.  I’ve watched everything from The Making of The Shinning, Fast Times at Ridgmont High, A Beautiful Mind, Sex and The City The Movie, Body of Lies, and The Jane Austen Book Club.  I haven’t watched a single reality tv show in over forty eight hours and I feel fantastic.   But back to the movies.  I love Jane Austen and she is my favorite author, and I love any book and/or movie about her.  I think its funny how people shy away from her because she wrote in the past.  As if people were totally different a few hundred years ago.  While watching The Jane Austin Book Club for the second time in my life I laughed at that street sign that flashed WHAT WOULD JANE DO.  I think it inspired me to write a bit about Jane and what she was like.

I first learned about Jane Austen as a teenager.  I had a terribly kooky high school english and humanities teacher by the name of Ms. Smith.  She had no control of her classes, and no idea how to give tests, but she brought out the best english nerd in me.  I think I took six of my twenty classes in high school with her because she introduced me to a world so unlike my own, yet I identified with Jane Austen and her characters so much.  British Literature was so unlike anything I knew, but yet Jane Austen was doing the same things I always wanted to do in my own writing. 

Jane Austen valued education, like I do.  She was a master of social commentary, and wrote about the middle class.  Austen was witty as hell, she loved to use irony in her writing, and she was the original queen of sarcasm.  Does that make any of you just a tinsy bit more interested in her?  If you think about it … and kind of stretch your minds … its a little bit like the way I write.  Even down to the annonymous publishing.  (Except I will never be nowhere as good as she was of course.) 

Jane wrote the following books:

• Sense and Sensibility
• Pride and Prejudice
• Mansfield Park
• Emma
• Northanger Abbey
• Persausion

These books inspired many movies, miniseries and novels, but below are some of the best ones.  All of her books dealt with women trying to find a husband, something many of you can identify with.  Jane herself never got married.  If anything, do yourself a favor and read Pride and Prejudice, her best novel.  Oh hell, read Bridget Jones Diary if you only like books that are more current.  Its just one of those fun and smart books that you will want to read in one sitting.  If you are not a book person, then watch the new Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly.  Or BJD, which is hysterical and even managed to snag the original Mr. Darcy from the mini series, Mr. Colin Firth himself.  Not all Janeits love it, but I do … Hate period books or movies that even mention period books?  Go rewatch Clueless and have a good laugh. 

And remember when it comes to matters of the heart, ask youself this question

What Would Jane Do?  Its a good question to live life by. 

Eagles Fly … A Story of My Life as an Abused Child

I was born in the beginning of a decade that had everything good on the surface – great music, movies, books, television, and ideas.  Sometimes I feel this was the decade that caused severe changes about the way Americans lived.  Abortion became legal, serial killers became infamous, presidents became known criminals, and new diseases were discovered.  Children in my own neighborhood were victims of abductions and murders.  More scary than anything was the darkness that lingered in my own home.  People began locking their doors in my neighborhood but in my home I was jumping out of the windows by the time I turned six years old.  I was fearless at what could happen to me out in society because the madness in my own home was scarier than anything that could get me on the streets.

I learned that music was something I could use to manage my family instantly.  If good music was playing, parents were less likely to fight and beat one another, kids got along, and people were temporarily happy.  By the age of four I was hooked on rock music.  The Beatles were the band that saved my life.  If I didn’t have Paul and John, George and Ringo around to cheer me up, I don’t know how I would have coped with everything that went on in that house.  I think I would have slipped into madness.

Besides music, nature had a big part in my life.  I loved playing outside, for obvious reasons.  People were busy smoking pot and drinking beer, so the kids were safer outside.  At a very young age my brother and I were friends and I remember even loving him at one point.  But then he grew into the monster that his father was, and I had to avoid him at all costs.  He was a constant source of new terror for me, and would do everything to torture me.  Not only was he allowed to pull my hair while my mother laughed, he would smash me in the mouth if I tried to fight back, or color on my walls and dresser, he’d rip up my posters, tear up my books, and eventually chew off the nose of my cat Sweetie Pie, who I don’t even have a picture of.  I learned quick that my brother wasn’t allowed to stray too far from the house, and even though I couldn’t cross the street at age eight, I began to walk all over my city, meeting new people and even staying out as late as midnight.  My mother was busy being crazy and having an affair with her husband’s best friend, and my step father hated me, was a drunk, and had his own affairs that he was proud to flaunt in my mothers face.

My bedroom was my safe haven.  As you can see, I surrounded myself by my music and used posters to cover up the punch holes that covered my room.  Sometimes it was my own fists that punched out walls, as I was sick of the violence in my house and wanted out.  I spent years with weekly police visits to the home because I’d scream for help for hours until my neighbors would finally call the cops to get me stop.  I was either locked in that room or forced into hiding in that room almost all the time I spent at home.  I never had one moments peace there, and often stayed at a friend’s house and my great-grandmothers on weekends.  Thankfully I began working two jobs by age fifteen so I could save up for college and my planned escape.

More than ever music was becoming my passion, even over reading.  I’d stay up all hours of the night taking turns reading literature and trying to teach myself how to play guitar.  I never mastered more than four chords, but it was fun pretending that I could be a rock star like Eddie Van Halen or Eric Clapton.  Thats the beautiful thing about childhood, your dreams can take you anywhere.

Being a teenager was tough for me.  I was pretty and skinny and I was terrified of all men.  I was fond of wearing baggy clothes that hid my figure.  I had been molested twice, once in sixth grade by my friends creepy older brother, and again at fourteen was I was walking home from babysitting at one in the morning.  Both boys and men had been hitting on me by the time I was thirteen, probably since I was so tall.  I can not understand to this day the fascination men have with young girls.

The older I got, the worse male attention towards me was.  I was torn between looking nice and wanting to hide myself.  I think its sad that I never got to enjoy being pretty or super skinny.  I always had those self esteem issues about my looks like millions of other girls at my age.  I rarely thought of myself as pretty, rather I noticed everything wrong about myself, like my broad shoulders my mother gave to me, my giant size calfs and arms, or my big Italian nose.  Its funny looking at these pictures of myself now because I see something totally different.

As a young woman, I never had confidence issues about who I was as a person.  I knew who I was even as a young child, but was very quiet on the outside.  I suppose opinionated children get hit a lot more than the quiet ones and this might have been the reason I am both an introvert and extrovert to this day.  I surrounded myself with funny people because I loved laughing and humor and I always had my own comedic moments that played out in my head.  I was so shy and yet so outgoing at times, it just depended on who I was around.  I am sure there are dozens of people who either thought I was a shy nerd or a bad ass bitch in high school.  I was both and neither if that makes sense.  I was opinionated, tough, and I had realistic ideas about where I came from and where I was going, and I valued my education even though I went to one of the worst high schools.  More than anything I knew I just wanted out of the life I had at the time.  I had dreams of traveling the world, going to college, having my own family.  I wasn’t going to let welfare and my mothers bipolar disease stop me.

Close to the end of my ghetto life which ended in September of 1989 when I entered as an undecided major at Michigan State, I took this picture to remind myself where I came from.  A house full of mice, dirt, poverty, and mental illness.  My mother lovingly gave it back to me just a few years ago as a bonus Christmas present.

Sometimes certain pieces of music hit me like a brick to the face in my adult life.  A lot of my childhood is buried deep in my memory, or rests with my girlfriends who knew what was happening in my life at the time.  Often there were other adults didn’t listen.  Child abuse and domestic violence was a very disturbing thing for me to overcome.  Society loves to looks the other way when it comes to at risk children but I certainly don’t.  A few weeks ago I heard this Sammy Hagar song, Eagles Fly, which reminded me of the way I felt as a teenager close to graduation, close to escaping the madness that surrounded me for almost nineteen years of my life.

Sunday morning 9 a.m.
I saw fire in the sky
I felt my heart pound in my chest
I heard an eagle cry
Now I’m alive I can breathe the air
Feel the wind, smell the earth in the air
I watch an eagle rise above the trees
Project myself into what he sees
Hey-
Take me away
Come on and fly me away
Take me up so high
Where eagles fly
I often dream I sail through the sky
I’ve always wished I could fly
The simple life of a bird on the wing
Oh Lord, I could sing
Take me away
Come on fly me away
Lift me up so high
Where eagles fly
Oh yeah-
I’m alive, I breathe the air
Wash the earth from my face
I catch a glimpse of another dream
I turn, I look but there’s no trace
Take me away
Come on, fly me away
I wanna fly away
Pick me up so high
Where eagles fly
Oh yeah-
Eagles fly, oh, take me away
Eagles fly, oh, take me away
Come on, let’s fly away where eagles fly
Come on, fly away where eagles fly

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIL_AlVpgd4

 

 

 

 

American Idol Recap – Top 10 – Is Scott Going Home Tonight?

I love American Idol.  Seriously, its a show that anyone can love … even Olivia Newton-John was sitting in the audience last night.  How cool was that?  I’m a huge fan of music and singing and a HUGE karoke fan.  I only wish I was good enough to be a good enough singer to try out myself.  I get so emotional watching our Idols compete each week.  I love how it gives ordinary people the opportunity of a lifetime.  And, my god, what Detroiter doesn’t love the Motown Sound?

This week I was so happy to see the top 10 in Detroit at Hitsville USA.  Historically, Detroit has such a rich and diverse culture of music.  We’ve seen everyone from Aretha Franklin (In my humble opinion, the best female vocalist ever) to Kid Rock to Uncle Kracker to Marvin Gaye to Madonna to Smokey Robinson to Diana Ross to Eminem to Ted Nugent to Sonny Bono to Alice Cooper to The Jackson 5 to the White Stripes to Anthony Kiedis to Jason Newsted (Metallica) to Stevie Wonder to Bob Seagar to Iggy Fucking Pop.  I still think it was a horrible mistake to not have had The Rock and Roll Home Fame here!

Anyway, back to Idol.   Thank you Idol first and formost to highlighting Detroit.  We are struggling here, really struggling, and to give us a shout out in any way was super cool.  I have never been to Hitsville myself, and enjoyed seeing it on tv.  Anyone interested should check out more about this historic recording studio here:

http://www.motownmuseum.com/

My Quicky Idol Recap:

1. Matt – Lets Get It On.  Matt is from Michigan … and is a decent singer.  He picked the perfect crowd pleaser.  It was a good effort, but he has a real struggle to win this contest.
2. Chris – How Sweet It Is.  Its more of a James Taylor song than a Marvin Gaye song to me.  He looked tiny behind that big old guitar.  It was ok but nah …
3. Scott -You Can’t Hurry Love.  I had to listen with my eyes closed.  It just wasn’t vocally challenging.  Sorry.
4. Megan- For Once in My Life.  She has a unique sounding voice, but she bugs the fuck out of me.
5. Anoop - Oh Baby Baby.  Wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be.
6. Michael - Ain’t To Proud To Beg.  Sadly he missed Detroit since he was sick.  Big mistake.  No pounding, just blah to me. 
7. Lil - Heat Wave.  It was very emotional for me to see her very emotional.  I love her voice.  She didn’t pick the right song, but she sure looked the part of Motown Sound.  Why didn’t you sing R-E-S-P-E-C-T?  Please girl, BRING IT. 
8. Adam – Tracks of My Tears.  Wow, loved the look, loved the suit, (Sooo shiney!) loved the song.  He looked live a completly different person … a cross between Jim from The Office, Kurt Russel, and Elvis Presley. 
9. Danny – Get Ready.  I enjoyed his performance and loved his little dance with the back up singers.  He had fun and that counted for me.
10. Allison – Papa Was a Rolling Stone.  Stole the damn night.  I can’t believe that little sixteen year old has such a kick ass voice!  She just sang the HELL out of that song. 

Here is my guess at the bottom three:

Michael, Scott and Matt.  And, Scott is going home.

Share if you care:

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
•