My Favorite TRUE Ghost Story

I have to tell you what happened to me today. I was doing a candle show earlier this afternoon, and when one of the guests began talking about the ghost they ran into at Mission Point Hotel on Mackinaw Island.  The conversation naturally turned to all of the silly little local haunted places around us such as Dead Man’s Hill, the Tombs, and the Catacombs near Birmingham.  As I love to tell a story, I shared with them my favorite and totally true ghost story:

First, meet Great-Grandpa Bruno, the “Ghost” … who also is the spitting imagine of Kramer from Seinfeld! Am I right?

 

Here is a wedding picture of Bruno and his bride, my Great-Gramma Rose, who I lived with off and on until she died when I was nineteen years old.

And the story begins:

My sassy 100% Italian gramma was laying on her couch one afternoon in the late 70′s, early 80′s, when all of a sudden while doing her rosary, the chair started rocking next to her.  In fact, it was this chair, my grampa’s chair.

 

By the way, just to make it creepier, he died while holding me, his little blond angel, as I was know back in the day.

Now, my gramma didn’t scare easy. She was so sassy she spit in the face of my mom’s peeping tom one summer afternoon while we were on a walk in East Detroit. Then she waived her fist and called him a “F-ing bastard” right on the street in front of me. She was tough like that.

So, gramma looked over at the chair and all of a sudden Bruno appeared in a sort of hologram-type shape. And he told her “Rose, don’t go to California, don’t go” and then he faded out. She finished her rosary, took off her housecoat, and walked to her travel agents office and promptly canceled her yearly trip to California to see her daughter.

A few months later she and I were watching the news when we saw a huge mudslide that had killed a train full of people. Of course, gramma turned pale, ran and got out some paperwork, and discovered that THIS WAS the same trip she was supposed to be on!

And today, just as I finished telling this story, the lamp next to us suddenly flickered and turned off and all of the younger girls at the party screamed. It was just awesome … and I said “Hi grampa!” as I believed it was him saying hello to his little blond angel!

I totally believe in ghosts, by the way, as I think anything is possible. I have heard so many ghost stories in my life … and I also grew up in not one but two houses where someone had died.

I really believe my grandpa Bruno saved my gramma so that she could be in my life to protect me and provide a safe place for me when my mom went crazy, as she did from time to time.

WOULD YOU RATHER … CELEBRITY QUIZ

Ok, it’s been a long time since I blogged about celebrities. True, they give a blogger so much to write about. They are wild and crazy and adopt way too many babies from foreign lands. And they are WAY more insecure than you or I. But instead of it being all about them, let’s make it all about us! I’m posting forth a quiz to you all called WOULD YOU RATHER?

For instance:

1. Would you rather have Britney Spears or Jaime Lynn Spears as your roommate?

Myself, I’d take Britney, because sadly enough, I feel she is the less annoying sister.

2. Would you rather see Kim Kardashian’s big fat naked ass or share a bed with Oprah?

Tough one, as both would be very scary. And since I recently saw a picture of Kim’s butt cleavage I think I’d be able to fight Oprah off, so I’ll pick Oprah. Come on, you know Oprah and Gail are a couple …

3. Would you rather party with Amy Winehouse or Paris Hilton for 72 hours straight?

This may be the toughest question of all. Both are hard core party gilrs, but I’ll pick Paris, as one, crack is whack; and two, Paris woun’t end us up in jail.

4. Would you rather feed Mary Kate Olsen a sandwich or bitch-slap Lauren Conrad (L.C.) from The Hills?

Mary Kate needs more meat on her bones, but man, that L.C. bugs the crap out of me … how is she even famous?

5. Would you rather be haunted by Anna Nicole Smith’s ghost or be Lindsay Lohan’s drug dealer?

Again, another tough one. I just can’t imagine trying to lay in my bed and hearing Anna bleat out “Hi, boo, pumpkin pooh” so I’ll take Lindsay always trying to get free coke off of me … lesser of two evils.

Feel free to take the quiz and leave your answers in my comment section.

Movie Meme

Hip hip Hurray, it’s MeMe time again. Joan Harvest doesn’t tag people for MeMe’s, but when I saw the title I had to take on the challenge. I love movies, just love them, and some of my best memories (And friends) come from the days when I worked at a movie Theatre – Star Theatre … once the best theatres in Michigan, now one of the crappiest chains around … but, moving along …

1. One movie that made you laugh:

Fight Club. I am very twisted. I absolutely adore that movie.

2. One movie that made you cry:

Terms of Endearment. Damn you Shirley McClain.

3. One movie you loved when you were a child:

Grease. What kid didn’t love this film? Oh, how I loved Danny. Oh, how I still love to karaoke that song Summer Nights. My dream is for me and my hubby (Who is a hot Italian) to dress up as Sandy and Danny for Halloween. BTW, Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday!

4. One movie you’ve seen more than once:

There are so many of them. Star Wars

and The Blues Brothers are near the top. And, my god, of course, The Godfather.

5. One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it:

Clueless. Ok, I’ve outed myself. Let me justify by saying this film is a very lose adaptation of a Jane Austin novel. Ha ha .. No excuse, right?

6. One movie you hated:

The Electric Horseman. I always saw movies that I was too young for … I saw this at age nine. Enough said.

7. One movie that scared you:

The Exorcist. I am so afraid of this movie … and read Ellen Burstyn’s memoir, and be afraid, very afraid. True devil stuff really scares me.

8. One movie that bored you:

Marie Antoinette. I was on my was to Paris and thought I’d love it. Nope. Not even perky Kristen Dunst could brighten it up.

9. One movie that made you happy:

Never Been Kissed. Drew Barrymore made an excellent nerd who finally lands a hot man and her first kiss at age 25. I talked about it for weeks. Thought it was a damn charming chick flick.

10. One movie that made you miserable:

I walked out on Scent of a Woman. I thought it was too much with all that “Whoo Ha!”

11. One movie you weren’t brave enough to see:

I haven’t ever been afraid of a movie. I am the one whose hand is squeezed tightly .. hee hee. But, in my old age I have stopped loving gore and blood and guts and haven’t seen any of the Saw movies and probably would have otherwise.

12. One movie character you’ve fallen in love with

Fudge, there have been so many. I apologize to the dozens of actors who I have forgotten to include on this list. I am head over heals for Han Solo, Indiana Jones, any early Kevin Costner movies … esp. Crash Davis and Lt. John J. Dunbar, any Ewan McGregor movie, but esp. his character Billy in Little Voice, Zack Mayo (An Officer and a Gentleman), Donnie Darko, Ed Norton in all his movies but especially The Narrator in Fight Club, Jay Gatsby, J.D. aka the Cowboy in Thelma and Louise (Brad Pitt never looked better!) Johnny Depp as Gilbert Grape, Officer Bud White (Russel Crowe) William Thacker (Hugh Grant) Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), Westley (Princess Bride) and of course the ultimate original McDreamy Mr. Darcy.

13. The last movie you saw:

In a movie theatre … The Hulk. I heart Ed Norton. And The Hulk back in the day. And I’m bragging here to say I knew the original Hulk’s cousin who looked just like him, Chris. I don’t want to spoil it for you, all I’ll say was I enjoyed it, the kids enjoyed it, and it was SO MUCH BETTER than that stupid Eric Banna movie five eyars ago.

On TV – Con Air. Just watched it, and it was so good. Yes, I know it’s bad, but bad enough to be good, like Face Off or Honeymoon in Vegas. Ok, maybe I just have a thing for Nic Cage. Anyhoo, you’ll be proud to know that my hubby pointed out Mr. Friendly from LOST was in Con Air (He was the convict pilot.)

14. The next movie you hope to see:

The Dark Knight -comes out July 18th.

15. Now tag five people:

1. Peter Parkour

2. Writebright

3. Memoirs of a Teacher

4. Romi

5. Dube

Some of My 80′s and 90′s Fashions

I love fashion, this is true. Today I want to share with you some of my most crazy stylish outfits from the 80′s and 90′s. I hope you enjoy them:

High School Prep, circa 1986

Before I knew it was bad to wear white to someone’s wedding, 1988

My MC Hammer look, Christmas Day 1988

Fashionable Shoulder Pads, 1990

Burned skin and big hair on Memorial Day, 1991

Spiral Perm dorm look @ MSU, 1991

I couldn’t get enough of Polo Men’s shirts, 1992

Cancun, please check out the socks, penny loafers and fake Coach purse, 1993

Another wedding w/bad hair and even worse dress, 1993 or 1994

Mrytle Beach, circa 1995

My Favorite Hat, 1995 or 1996

The Big Floral Dress, 1996

 

Bad blog etiquette … Shame on you Baby Jane

It’s really a shame when people have bad blog etiquette. I’ve only been a blogger for almost six months now, but I know better to judge people on their blogs. Hey, anyone can post whatever they want, and if I don’t like it I can just not read it. I never leave evil messages on people’s site.

But today, some beotch named “Baby Jane” left me two of the most bitchy, evil, and horrible messages on two of my posts that I quickly deleted because they were so hateful. And, because I’m ghetto, I sent her this nasty email … and of course she  gave me a fake email … as it came back to me undeliverable … so I’ll have to post it her so she gets the message:

Just wanted to send you a little message to kiss my fat ass. If you don’t like my blog, don’t read or comment on it. Sounds like all you want to do is complain about your own life and prove to me that your life is worse than mine … it’s not a contest lady. My blog is my way of expressing my self … you’ve heard of freedom of expression, right?

Miss Baby Jane basically told me off, said that she had never met a bigger complainer, that my life wasn’t tough, that I should make looking for work my full time job, that she had to shop at Goodwill, and she was divorced, a single mother, it went on and on for like twelve sentences. I was so furious I can’t even remember it all.

I wonder, did she stop to read my entire 212 posts so that she knows everything about me? Does she realize that I have way more going on in my life than what I tell people, did she stop to think that maybe I need to vent so that I can get over stuff? Stupid idiot.

So, let me sum up my life for you, evil beotch BABY JANE, so that you know why I felt justified in complaining a few days in a row:

1. My mom is bipolar. She had me out of wedlock, and then married my abusive step father when I was four. They both used to beat me, lock me in my room, and withhold food from me. I was forced to pee and poop in my room since I was locked in there for HOURS AND HOURS at a time. And, yeah, they used drugs too. (My mom also used to buy beer for all the older teenagers in my neighborhood so that they would give her free dope, which was horrifying to me.) The cops came to our house so much that my mom almost lost custody of us and her social worker, Mr. Zachary, was there once a week for YEARS. And, after my step dad divorced her (Only after causing her to go bankrupt) we were so poor that I had to steal toilet paper from the gas station because we couldn’t buy it with food stamps. I was 5’10 and weighed 116 pounds when I was in high school BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY STARVING!
   
2. My mom tried to stab me when I was sixteen. Thankfully, she missed, but she managed to jump repeatedly on my pelvis with all of her 200+ weight. I think she did permanent damage and this is why I have 7 herniated disks in my spine today.
   
3. I had a Peeping Tom AND a Stalker. Two different people. My Stalker, who was also my ex-boyfriend tried to kill me at my high school graduation, not to mention tried to kill himself in front of all my neighbors one night after basically kidnapping me after work.
   
4. The only normal person in my life, my grandma, died when I was 19, and I have lived without love from a parent-type since then.
   
5. After getting talked into finding my dad via a private eye and another friend’s excellent detective work, I met an idiot man who wanted nothing to do with me, and have regretted it ever since.

I could also tell her about having nine diseases, or how I worked two jobs for twenty years, or how I’ll never have my own baby, or how I was in the hospital all day yesterday, or any number of other things, but I feel that I have said plenty about how tough my life was. I do have a much better life and a great (and very cute) husband and wonderful stepchildren but like anyone else, I face challenges on a daily basis.

Jane, it’s not a contest, but if it were, I hope you realize that when it comes to dysfunctional families, to my knowledge, only Augusten Burroughs has me beat. So suck it beotch!!!

Love,

The Girl from the Ghetto