The Girl from the Ghetto

I’m not fake, and I try to say what I think to people. Living in a politically correct world can be tough, and at times my “ghetto” side seeps through to the public. And I don’t care. Working for the government has stolen my soul. More than anything, certain types of behaviors, language, and people just about kill me. Well, they at least really get under my skin. And make me eat lots of chips and chocolate.

Here is a list of EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE THAT I HATE (Or at least that I can think of @ 1:00 am on a work night …)

1. Women who poop in public restrooms, when private ones are available. I do not want to hear you pooping and farting away next to me.
2. Attorneys, Judges, Doctors, and Businessmen who think they are better than me just because they get paid more than me, or have had more education than me. Look, your family had more money than mine. Trust me, I’m a great student, and with an equal playing field I may have faired better than you. So ha ha.
3. Stupid people. shame on your for being so dumb.
4. Slow people (As in they move slow due to distractions like cell phones, etc.) Get out of my f-ing way.
5. Lazy people.
6. Arrogance.
7. David Cook from American Idol. See above.
8. Couples who have to do everything together, and who esp. work out together. Spare me!
9. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Kim Kardashian. You are all just dumb and you need to go away now.
10. People who blog about What White People Like. Naw, I’m just jealous, I want a book deal too …
11. Reality shows that suck.
12. Cheap people. Esp. Angie the Partylite Lady. OMG, don’t offend my friends and relatives by giving away a bath bead as a prize, or asking guests to your ritzy home to bring their own pop and side dishes. WTF?
13. Impatient people. Watch out, because if I’m helping you that only makes me want to make you wait longer.
14. Paper cuts.
15. Women in their 50s who whisper and cover their mouths when they tell secrets in front of a full office. You know who you are. A-holes.
16. People who do not write thank you notes, like ever. I don’t expect one if it’s the holidays, or for certain things. But if you work with me, and we raise $300 for your wig, $200 for your new puppy, or $250 for your extended sick leave, SHAME ON YOU 3… That’s so ghetto.
17. People who cough on me.
18. People who are nice to you, but then talk about you at the same time. I don’t care about you, why should you care about me?
19. Men with curly hair.
20. Bret Michaels not admitting to wearing a weave or wig. Come on dude.
21. People who complain all day long.
22. Tattoos on women. I’m just old school, sorry.
23. Grocery shopping.
24. Getting the oil changed in my car. that’s man’s work.
25. Uncomfortable shoes. I mean, I wear orthotics and knee braces. Do you even think I’m ever going to wear heels again? Nope, and I do not miss them, because comfort is way better than style.
26. Thongs. Praise the lord for boy short style panties.
27. Every woman in the world now wearing black rimmed glasses. I was still semi original when I was doing it. You’ve all wrecked it for me, so now I shun glasses in public.
28. Missing Jon and Kate Plus Eight two weeks in a row. Damn ….
29. Being in pain and constantly fatigued every second of my life for 4+ years now … and having to go to U-M Hospital to find out possibly something even worse if wrong with me soon. Damn it, I miss my fun, fabulous and skinner self so much.
30. When I’m bitchy, and boy, can I get this way at times.
31. Cruel people. And of course murderers, rapists, and any sort of bad person.
32. People who brag about giving to charity, when we all know it’s for the tax deductions. Let’s see you volunteer for Parks and Rec, Sexual Assault Victims, Art Institutes, or Girl Scouts. That’s where the real charity begins. And yes, I’m bragging about myself here, and too bad.
33. The drama between Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth. My god, just play, and never talk to one another off stage. You rock, and I still need you in my life.
34. The demise of radio stations, records, cds, and all the cool old school music stores. These places were my haven growing up. What, now I’m supposed to search iTunes all night for one god song? How am I learning about new bands this way? I need personal recommendations fro live people.
35. LOST not being on until April 24th.
36. SCRUBS ending forever next month. Did anyone see last weeks episode where JD and Turk forced the interns to play real life Galactica … and they threw watter balloons at them. Then that skeaky voiced Indian girl did the warning noise … My god, one of the funniest shows on tv I have seen in a long, long time …
37. Graduating Magna Cum Laude and not being able to find a job in Detroit almost 2 years later. Bad for the soul, man …
38. Not having enough time to blog, read, listen to music, or sleep. I miss all of these things terribly. I really want to finish my new Jennifer Weiner book.
39. Knowing that people like Omarosa, Sanjaya, and New York from Flavor of Love exist.
40. Knowing OJ Simpson got away with murder.
41. Seeing Mayor Kwayme Kilpatrick wreck Detroit, and knowing that he might also get away with it.
42. Unorganized people.
43. Teenagers who act like idiots in public.
44. Megan from Rock of Love 2. She was really a bitch.
45. Grape flavored anything.
46. Grocery shopping. Too many people on this list are out there.
47. Having a lot of stairs in my house.
48. Bad managers who get away with murder. Watch out, because some day the “Hall of Shame” might be following you when your at your golf league all day instead of being at the office….
49. Saturday Night Live not being as good as it used to. I miss the old days.
50. Waiting another month for the “Sex and the City” movie. My god, does Carrie really marry Big? I can’t wait!